Divorce and Remarriage Application of Biblical Principles

A. Marriage

1. Marriage is a basic human relationship.

a. Marriage is God-ordained. "God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them" (Genesis 1:27 [KJV/NIV] ). The very nature of the way God created man to live on the earth indicates He intended man and woman for each other.

Their relationship was to be social as well as physical. "The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him" (Genesis 2:18 [KJV/NIV]).

The first woman was a "help meet" (a counterpart) for the man, taken from his side, bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, his perfect complement (Genesis 2:23 [KJV/NIV]). It is obvious that God meant them to share in both privilege and responsibility.

b. God intended marriage to be a lifelong monogamous union. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave [stay joined in love and loyalty] unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). When this is quoted in Matthew 19:5 a Greek word for cleave is used which means "to be glued to, be closely bound to." [KJV/NIV]

The Old Testament factually recognized that polygamy did exist. It notes that the first case of polygamy was in Cain's line (Genesis 4:19 [KJV/NIV]) and shows that monogamy was still the ideal (Psalm 128:3; Proverbs 5:18; 31:10-29; Ecclesiastes 9:9 [KJV/NIV]). Jesus also acknowledges that God's ideal in the beginning was monogamy (Matthew 19:8 [KJV/NIV]).

2. Marriage involves a covenant.

Marriage is a covenant, a solemn binding agreement made before God and man. "The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant" (Malachi 2:14 [KJV/NIV], emphasis added).

Ezekiel applies the idea of marriage to the relationship between God and Israel. "Yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine" (Ezekiel 16:8 [KJV/NIV], emphasis added). From what is said we see that the husband "sware unto" the wife (took an oath, pledged faith) and entered into a solemn covenant not intended to be broken. The Hebrew word used, however, implies no sacrifice, thereby distinguishing it from the word used for the more sacred and binding "cut a covenant." The love involved is fundamentally the Hebrew hesed, "a loyal, covenant keeping love," which God shows us even when we are unworthy.

B. Divorce

1. God hates divorce.

a. "The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the Spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously" (Malachi 2:14-16 [KJV/NIV]).

This passage shows that divorce is treachery (deceitful unfaithfulness) against your companion. It is also a violent thing coming from a wrong spirit. Worst of all, it hinders the growth of a "godly seed." Broken homes do not tend to produce the healthiest offspring.

b. "What therefore God hath joined [yoked] together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6 [KJV/NIV]). Divorce was not in God's original intention for man. Gods purposes in marriage are not helped by breaking the yoke. They can only be carried out as the pair subject themselves to Christ and each other. Such a relationship is beautifully described in Ephesians 5:21-31 [KJV/NIV].

2. The Law restricted divorce.

The Law recognized the fact that divorce was taking place in Israel (as were many other practices common to the ancient world). In giving Israel the Law, God accepted people where they were, put restrictions on their wrong practices, and tried to direct them.

In their confrontation with Jesus about divorce, the Pharisees were obviously in error when they said Moses commanded that a man give a certificate of divorce when putting his wife away (divorcing her). Jesus said that Moses only "suffered," or permitted, them to do so--and then not for "every cause," as was commonly practiced at that time (Matthew 19:3,7,8 [KJV/NIV]).

This is borne out in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 [KJV/NIV]. The Hebrew Moses used there is a simple sequence that does not command divorce. He simply recognizes that men were divorcing their wives. The passage literally says that when a man divorces his wife "because he has found in her an unclean matter [a Hebrew word connected with uncovered stools (Deuteronomy 23:12-14 [KJV/NIV]), with Noah's nakedness (Genesis 9:21-23 [KJV/NIV]), and with Edom under the figure of a drunken woman (Lamentations 4:21 [KJV/NIV])--that is, some moral or sexual uncleanness apart from adultery, since adultery would call for her death under the Law] and has written for her a certificate of divorce and given it into her hand and sent her away from his house, and she goes out of his house and has another husband [it is assumed she would do this] and the other husband hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and gives it into her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the other husband dies who took her to be his wife, her first husband who sent her away shall not be able to return and take her (again) to be his wife."

In other words, a man is to think twice before he divorces his wife even for what seems to be a good reason. He might want her back, but if she has married again, he could not have her.

3. Jesus forbade divorce as contrary to God's will and word.

He made this clear in Matthew 19:5,6 and Mark 10:6-9 [KJV/NIV].

4. Paul forbade a Christian couple getting a divorce.

"Unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord [Paul had an actual saying of Jesus to back this up], Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:10,11 [KJV/NIV]).

Although Paul recognized that Christians were getting divorces he commanded that they keep the way open for reconciliation.

5. Paul forbade Christians taking the initiative in getting a divorce because their partner is an unbeliever.

"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord [Paul did not have an actual saying of Jesus to back this up, though Paul was speaking under the inspiration of the Spirit]: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him [as a faithful wife], let him not put her away. And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him . . . . But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage [not enslaved] in such cases" (1 Corinthians 7:12-15 [KJV/NIV], emphasis added).

Thus Paul indicates that the Christian cannot stop an unbelieving partner from leaving (getting a divorce) if he or she insists on it.

6. Jesus permitted a Christian to initiate a divorce when fornication was involved.

"Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" (Matthew 5:32. See also Matthew 19:9). This is permission, however, not a command. [KJV/NIV]

The Greek word for "fornication" (porneia) may include especially repeated acts of adultery, but usually means habitual sexual immorality of any kind, both before and after marriage. (A porne was a prostitute.) A few scholars would limit the meaning of fornication here to incest, but this is not the normal usage of the word.

Some would rule out this exception because it is not found in Mark and Luke, not wanting to build a teaching on just the two passages in Matthew. However, we accept the length of the millennium as spanning one thousand years even though this time period is mentioned in only one Bible passage (Revelation 20:2-7 [KJV/NIV]). The same principle applies to other Bible teachings.

It is seldom, if ever, that any single passage gives all aspects of truth on any single theme. In order to come to an understanding of any truth, we must take the whole of what the Bible teaches.

C. Remarriage

1. The Law accepted the fact that divorce permitted remarriage.

This is clear from the passage in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 already quoted. The same passage shows that the Law put some limits on remarriage. Malachi 2:11 condemned remarriage to an unbeliever. A priest was forbidden to take a divorced woman as his wife (Leviticus 21:7). [KJV/NIV]

2. Jesus in His basic teaching forbade the remarriage of divorced persons.

He condemned remarriage as an act of adultery, a sin against the covenant of the first marriage (Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; Matthew 5:32; 19:9 [KJV/NIV]).

However, Jesus recognized that the basic problem is divorce itself, for He saw that the divorced could be expected to remarry. By doing so they would commit adultery and cause the new partner to commit adultery. Thus, the basic purpose in what Jesus said is to prevent divorce in the first place.

3. Matthew 5:32 added an exceptive clause.

"Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication [habitual sexual immorality] causeth her to commit adultery." [KJV/NIV] This shows that a husband who divorces a sexually immoral woman does not cause her to commit adultery, since she is already guilty of adultery.

4. Matthew 19:9 also carried this exceptive clause.

*Some manuscripts omit "and marries another," but others, including the Sinaitic manuscript contain it, and the sense of the context calls for it. There is no manuscript evidence for leaving out the exceptive clause. (See John Murray, Divorce, p. 40.)

In this verse the best manuscripts read: "Whosoever puts away [divorces] his wife except for fornication [habitual sexual immorality] and marries another, commits adultery."* [KJV/NIV]

It should be emphasized that the exception has in view sexual immorality, not merely a single act. Wherever possible, sexually immoral practices should be dealt with through repentance, confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation, thus saving the marriage.

Some, including those who follow the traditions of the Roman Catholics, say that the exceptive clause does not apply to "and marries another, commits adultery." In this view, fornication, or habitual sexual immorality, gives the right to separation from bed and board but does not sever the bond of marriage or give any right to dissolve it. But this is difficult to fit in with other passages that deal with the responsibilities of husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7:2-5 [KJV/NIV]). Therefore, most Protestants have always taken the position that the exceptive clause does apply to "and marries another."

It should also be pointed out that in the extreme cases where divorce seems necessary, Jesus did not command remarriage. However, it is clear that in Matthew 19:9 Jesus assumes the man will remarry [KJV/NIV]. The verse deals with divorce and remarriage, and the laws of grammar make the exceptive clause apply to both. The Greek word for "put away" (apoluo) is used with regard to the Deuteronomy passage referred to in Matthew 5:31 and Mark 10:2-12 [KJV/NIV]. There, the "putting away" clearly did dissolve the marriage bond. Jesus did not change the nature of divorce as dissolving marriage. He simply threw out all excuses, reasons, or causes except "fornication" (porneia, habitual sexual immorality). However, in no case does He command divorce or remarriage. They are merely permitted under this one condition.

Again, the objection is made that Romans 7:1-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 make no exception to the statement that marriage is dissolved by death [KJV/NIV]. Thus some take this to mean that marriage is broken by death alone.

But these passages are stating basic principles and do not deal with the exceptions. Romans 7 recognizes that the husband under the Law could get a divorce, but the wife could not. Therefore, the wife was bound by "the law of her husband" until his death. We must also keep in mind that under the Law the penalty for adultery was death. This penalty of death was given not to break the marriage relationship, but in recognition that it was already broken.

5. 1 Corinthians 7:15 also contains an exception.

"If the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage [not enslaved] in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." [KJV/NIV]

"Not enslaved" is a strong expression. Yet some, insisting on the basis of Romans 7:2 [KJV/NIV] that death alone can dissolve a marriage, interpret this passage to mean that the Christian is free to let the unbelieving partner go, but not free to remarry. However, we must remember that in Romans 7:2 [KJV/NIV] Paul is not addressing the subject of divorce and remarriage. He is simply using the unique situation of the woman under the Law in which only death could loose her from her husband to illustrate believers' complete dependence upon Christ's vicarious death to loose them from the claims of the Law. Paul was aware that under the Law the husband had the option of divorcing his wife (Deuteronomy 24:1-4 [KJV/NIV]), which was not available to the wife. Only death could loose her from the law of her husband. Sound principles of exegesis will not permit one to assume that Paul's view on the subject of divorce and remarriage appear here.

If a believer is "not enslaved" when an unbelieving spouse, unwilling to remain in the marriage, divorces him (or her), he (or she) must be considered set free. Since it is the unbelieving partner who determines to go and initiates a divorce, the believer's freedom seems to be more than a freedom to let him (or her) go, since he (or she) is going anyway. The plain meaning seems to be that the believer is set free to remarry if he or she so chooses.

Paul, however, does discourage remarriage for the sake of ministering to the Lord. "Are you free from a wife? Do not seek marriage. But if you marry, you do not sin" (1 Corinthians 7:27,28 [KJV/NIV]).

6. Remarriage is a new contract or covenant.

Some say that a person who remarries is living in adultery. They say that though adultery is not an unforgivable sin, true repentance will demand quitting the sin, as the thief must quit stealing. They argue that for a person who has remarried to live with the new partner involves them continually in acts of adultery. But to assume an analogy between marriage and thievery is erroneous. It is obvious that marriage always involves a contract, but thievery does not.

A remarriage entered into wrongly does indeed constitute an act of adultery against the previous contract. This breaks the old contract; the former partner is set free. Once a person remarries he is then obligated to be faithful to the new contract. Deuteronomy 24:4 showed it to be wrong to go back to the old marriage contract.[KJV/NIV] (Hosea was later commanded to do so as an illustration of the love of God that would take back apostate Israel.)

The Bible shows that God expects contracts to be kept even when entered into wrongly. When Joshua wrongly entered into a contract with the Gibeonites, God not only expected him to fulfill it, He gave him miracles of a hailstorm and the long day to help him (Joshua 9 and 10). Isaiah warned Ahaz against making a covenant with the Assyrians, but he made it anyway (Isaiah 7). Then God warned Hezekiah against breaking it and going down to Egypt for help (Isaiah 30 and 31).

D. The place of the divorced and remarried in the church

1. Membership is open to all born-again believers.

This would certainly include those who were divorced and remarried before they were saved. Paul indicates that those in various social and legal positions, such as the circumcised and those who were slaves, should be accepted in the condition in which they were when they were saved (1 Corinthians 7:17-24 [KJV/NIV]). "Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God" (1 Corinthians 7:24 [KJV/NIV]).

God accepted the Gentiles at the house of Cornelius (Acts 10 and 11 [KJV/NIV]). Knowing the frequency of divorce and remarriage among the Romans of the time, it is very probable that some at the house of Cornelius were so involved.

Paul gives the Christian no option but to continue to live with the unbelieving partner who is willing to live with him or her. Again, it is very probable that many of these Corinthian believers were married to unbelievers who had previous spouses still living. If God accepts such believers, who are we to judge? However, in no case shall a person be accepted into membership while living in a common-law state of matrimony.

2. The offices of elder and deacon are not open to those who are remarried.

The offices of elder (corresponding to pastor) and deacon are restricted by the requirement that they shall be "the husband of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2,12 [KJV/NIV]). Some say this refers to polygamy. History clearly indicates, however, that polygamy was not generally practiced at the time, while divorce and remarriage were extremely common among both Gentiles and Jews.

We must remember that the Bible does not indicate that everyone is to have a turn at these offices in the church The Bible lays down specific requirements for elders and deacons. The requirement that they be the husband of one wife is in keeping with the requirement that they must have a good report from outside the church. Both for the sake of the witness of the church and for the sake of freedom from entanglements, those who administer the affairs of the local church must meet these and other qualifications. This in no way promotes a double standard of morality, but is simply a matter of qualifications for the specific ministries of elders and deacons.

Some would restrict the remarried from all the ministries of the Church. However, every member of the Body has a function and the ministries are given by the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:11; Romans 12:6-8; Ephesians 4:16 [KJV/NIV]).

Application of Biblical Principles to Our Bylaws
as Revised and Adopted by the General Council in Session